Judgement day - poem

though I caught a glimpse of Heaven's Bliss,
I fear that I threw my
Wintered heartinto hell; your Dominion.

though whether you'd reign waist-deep in
Frigid Loneliness,
or enthroned, overlooking your
Smothering Sea of inescapable,
Licking Flames,
no verdict's been reached.

you would either preserve my Frozen state,
forever Undead by your Indifference.

or the very Fire that once sparked my Desire
would turn this ice, and with it, my life
to Vapour: forever swirling,
Aimlessly-as the Desperate Crests
of the Infernal Waves.

be gentle, love, for when I see your Face
in my Cursed Dreams,
my lungs Constrict the little air
your Affections bless me with.

like the gnawing Anticipation,
Sickeningly Spinning within me,
I replay a Reverie of you and I,
your body and mine-
Vines of Flesh.

I was safe in your arms until you wrapped
'round my chest-I woke up, uncertain...
did you Compress me to Asphyxiate?
or grasp me, only to
throw measide?

All that I know,
is what remains inside: this Burning Curiosity,
and a prickling memory or fear
of being discarded to Eternal Winter.

I'm dying to know: when you pulled me Close,
Breathed me in, and I Tasted you-
did you mean to Kindle
(my) Desire-to Feed
Our Affection?

or have you planned to push me
far away, yet Close Enough
for the Frost to imprison me,
manifesting Glass Bars,
forever gazing,

at Heaven's Door?