Monday, August 23, 2010

The Lesson-poem

For you, Daddy

You must know
that looking at you
is like staring into
any given mirror.
The love inside
and behind these eyes
is right there,
reflected into your very own.

You must know
the mem’ry of your kind face
hasn’t died-
I see it still Upon my own-
more so when I’ve something to be
proud of.

You must know
though I didn’t cry on the day,
which I regard as the time of night
when monsters roam,
and I’m blind though I try
to fumble around
for some semblance of
Life, Vitality, and Hope,
I suffocate for what feels like forever,
trapped in abysmal agony,
only to wake up to
reality
as if someone threw me
in frigid waters-

I’ve absorbed it all,
every drop I could,
then I let them pour through
though I couldn’t help it.
I’ve been your waterfall
whether you like it
(or not)
but you must know,
You must know.

You must know
that the childhood dream
of dressing in Love-
enrobed in White,
has turned to ash-
for it won’t be your hand
guiding mine down the path
to Tomorrow.

You must know
your name nigh became
taboo,
a ghost
we’re all too scared to acknowledge,
for the pain will rush back,
my hair will stand up,
the Chill will return,
then I’ll fumble again.

You must know
that despite all this nonsense,
despite all these words
that are feeble compared
to the legacy you bestowed me,
flowing through these grateful
Veins,
I’ll never know
how to express
how much I love you-
I’ll never know
how long
the World will last,
how long
time will drone on,
then cruelly whip past-

You must know
that’s how long I’ll hold you in
my heart.

You must know,
and if you don’t,
here it is,
here it lives.

4 comments:

Caroline said...

Thanks for posting this, it's really powerful. I'm sorry for your loss.

Brig said...

Oh boy does he know Ashie...trust me. He already knows. I love you with all my heart best friend. As I sit here with my tear-soaked cheeks, I can't help but imagine him reading your poem, and smiling with pride. Oh how proud you make him dude. Your words in all of your writing are so powerful...so true...and so touching...that there's doubt in my mind they go beyond this world and into the next. As I always have, I continue to be amazed by you.

Ash said...

Thanks for your kind words, ladies. Means a lot :)

B said...

Ashie... you are very talented! I miss him too! But he is proud of you! And you do have him with you wherever you go, and when you look in the mirror, you see him. Your poem is so musical but real. Very real.