Incomplete -poem

Does it ever kill you-
do you sit there and wonder if I’m ok,
what I’m thinking?

Would it ever cross your mind,
or compel you to pause,
during the lull of the night
that I might be shivering
without you?

The stupid thing, is well…
I know this is wrong.I
know I shouldn’t-

In theory, it makes no sense.
But my heart’s still beating,
despite the needles piercing through.

Can you ever feel the pain,
does any of this happen to you?

Breezes, pillows, blankets, hot chocolate-
nothing can cool my angry mind,
or thaw the ice that’s freezing my life.

At times I want to shake your shoulders and scream,
then at other times, I want to hold you-

Or at least know what it feels like
to be held.

Have you ever died a little?
I’d like to think you have-
because I’m daydreaming my eulogy-

God, how stupid this sounds.

And how you’d scold me for talking so much.

I can only dream you’d care-
dreaming’s all I have.

My frost-bitten heart,
the tears that won’t fall,
the lull of the moon,
the dreams…

And this is life-
at least the version of breathing
that I choke on
day and night, and night and day, and…