it's coming, swelling, vertigo dancing behind my eyes
tossing my head, rocking my brain until I'm
scared
to stand, to breathe, to be
here at the eye
of the thoughts ebbing to and from my memory, playing out in percussion
against my weary heart,
knocking my rubber legs and stirring my caustic core
shipwrecked limbs, memories, faith, floating on the residue
of today's fears
awoken by the beats, the pounding, terrible music
of the minutes ticking by at tempos too quick for
still water to remain its true self
this is a mashup:
a decrepit concoction of confused imagery
and imaginings
from a place that brews a poisonous elixir,
enticing my ego to jump in--
to see blue when the world is painted gray, black, puce, and pain
can't I smell the noxious gas? the deadly suffocation,
threatening to end it all
promising to stop it
giving into dizzying visions
of what was, is, and may never be
but can never happen
or else I'll take it up, I'll shake hands and that will be
it
the final note, the bridge to no more minutes--
just weightless, poison-less, fearless floating
into the tomorrow I always wanted
but never knew
could be