Monday, November 30, 2009

Release--poem

I remember diving into you
the comfort of your darkness, your frozen embrace
your endless abyss
where I got lost
in a coma where time and lucidity snuck away

I wasn’t happy, but hands of tragedy hadn’t completed the
task that your smothering took on to bring me to
this

once reason parted my lips to allow
your draught to assault my tongue
I tasted my addiction

My heart pounded again,
panic flailed my limbs to search for the surface
to cut the mass of tangible obsession
and win back my breath

I tasted your poison

I tasted your power,
that I made more potent with every single
dream, nightmare, thought, memory, word, glance, heartbeat, breath—

I remember diving into you
and feeling comfort in the cold
for you’d stock me like this for always
and keep me inside ‘til death do us part—
though, as the diver, I guess I’m the swan

I remember diving into you
out of choice, and all the while knowing
a masochist would blush from the emotional
whirlpool you preserve me in

I remember diving into you

I remember drowning

until I remembered it’s not safe to dive
when you can’t see the bottom in an unreliable ocean
so I built a bridge, crossed over

I remember looking back at you

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Pull-poem

Pull

North and South live up to their titles
they freeze and burn when I deviate from
the core of my rational, average centre—
my bridge above the pool of bubbling anger,
below a sky of blinding apathy

Me and You lived up to our titles
making an “us” from two skeptical
“I’s”

We stood on this bridge,
the experiment of stability
standing on feet that once ran but could
halt
with a hint of affection from
you

Time’s an enemy I can’t ignore
wearing on my balance—
raining on my vision
so I can’t tell the future from the
maelstrom below

Time won’t let me die,
live,
or breathe in this Wonderland
where you wrote me into existence
in this tragedy with no
ending

Time won’t intervene
while my heart pounds and slows,
stealing blood from my imagination
weighing my feet to concrete below

North pulls me to frigid heavens,
South to smouldering saunas
where sins burn free from the flesh that wanted
gravity to pull you through me
until nothing’s left
but air’s memory that love once was
here

I can’t feel my feet
my heart won’t beat
the storm’s calming to a stubborn shower
washing away the heat from below
washing away impending frostbite
Then Time wakes me from my trance

Lust and Love live up to their titles
you touch my hand, usurping my chemistry—
sensation lying to my sensibility

And I could touch your face tonight,
if I only knew how to break Time’s sentence
if I only knew how I could let myself free
from the shackles of a nightmare
that never let me walk beside you
but threw me to the mercy of the ravaging magnetism
of ruthless, warring
poles.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Good Intentions

You need to know

all that’s in my heart

while you’re collecting what’s left

of your own,

re-arranging the pieces to find who remains

after hurricane Me

tore through.

You need to know

I’m fully empty

and starving for what wasn’t.

You need to know

it won’t last long—like all loyal dwellers of our village

at the base of Mount Tomorrow,

we’ll rebuild our organs, without

splitting an Atom.

You need to know

so my mind can set free

the dove that was shot with my mistake.

You need to know

I’m not trying to be selfish,

and I know trying at all buries selfless

success.

You need to know

I thought it was true,

that it could have been and Life called our

bluff.

You need to know

the peace will come

after this affective tempest halts.

You need to know

I’m doubting myself,

for I hear an echo of these words

from all four walls.